Am I wrong for not wanting to share or be shared....

"when everything is going well....life happens..." -John Lennon

i like the beetles....

the sea may have plenty of fish but what good is it if there the same type of fish...

so back to this issue at hand.... back how the use to she said... how was that i said.... never mind she said.... like always...

can you always be thinking NOTHING?!? 21 years of living and i have meet the person that is always thinking nothing! I feel so honored! (saying this with much sarcasm). Can one always be thinking nothing... or what there thinking has nothing to do with I.... or im not that important in ones life to share anything with... Or it could be she just doesn't trust me.... And how can the one who thinks nothing expect to have a conversation.... do they think its easy to hold a conversation.... ex. so whats on your mind i said?
umm....nothing she says..... silence..... end of convo.....
hey it happens......

when people say they don't know what the want.... they really do know what they want.... I think its a cop out of saying what the really have to say.... I fall victim to this..... example! "I dont want a relationship with you...because i dont know what i want." what i think they are implying "I don't what a relationship with you because I don't want a commitment, somebody holding me back, and I still wanted to talk to other people.... but hey can you wait for me but not wait for me because it wouldn't be fair for me to talk to other people and your not or wont, oh but things be like they use to be...because I want my cake and eat it too!" (got a little personal...sorry)

can things be how they use to be omg?!!!! omg!!!! after a one day relationship... first since middle school btw..... After that incident in june..... after you not knowing what you want and then pushing me away.... do you really think thats a possibility maybe it is, maybe its not.

people need to asked themselves "if I was in the other persons shoes" type questions....
if I was put through the same thing would i? if the answer you gave differs from the answer you want to hear... then your fucked up..... next time you ask a question think to yourself if i was put in that person shoes.... see how fucked up you are!

I tired of being nice... its to much work...

im tired of being patient.... its to much work....

im tired.... im about to go to sleep....

Wow as you can see i am no fan of blogs. I guess I'll take this one to keep people up to speed.
right now i feel.... content! I haven't felt like this in a long time... stressed, yes... but that's the only way it seems i know how to function... My freelance work is good. I have ONE more year of school and everything is surely but surely coming along smoothly! other then this work in school, my personal/ love life.... sucks.... but I'm still content with that... i think that the current situations that I've dealt with has made me realize that maybe having a personal life isn't for me... its a hard thing to grasp at first... but I have become content with this thought... Dealing with people is to much for me. Its never a straight forward thing (with me) . Its always something.... its a constant puzzle that you thought you solved then something comes along and fuccks it up.... then i have to start all over... NOW TO THE RANTS RAVES AND MALARKEY...


Am I an idiot? I think people think I'm some type of fool... i know i can be slow at times, but an idiot i am not. It seems like people think i am.... just a thought.

how can one not assume things, if the thing that they assume is never talked about nor discussed... One can only assume right?

in certain situations the word hypothetically shouldn't be used.... ex hypothetically if i had aids would u still have sex with me...?<----- like this situation....

if things are constantly changing... how the hell can they stay the same....

too many people want their cake and eat it too... greedy, selfish bastards!

How long is long... How long should i wait.... how long... if i have to ask... then its been to long....

if the shoe fits.... then wear it...

i trust my barber...

right or left.... up or down....

i need a girl....

i think i need new friends...

I hate/love deadlines....

I love... myself.

i think im done....